<$BlogRSDUrl$>
Zarzuela Knits and Crochets
My blog about my knitting, crocheting, and anything else I feel like ranting about!

Disillusionment

9.10.2005
It's been a wild couple of days in my world. And while I don't want to bring anyone else down, I just feel like I need to get it out of my head and on electrons for some reason.

Thursday morning on my way to work I witnessed a shooting. I didn't actually see anyone pulling the trigger, but as I was driving down the road I heard shots, saw people hit the dirt, and watched the shooter jump in an SUV and drive off. It took a while to process what had happened, but when I did, I called 911 and reported what I saw to the police. They didn't take my name or number and just sent me on my way. Very shaken, I called everyone I could think to call but the only person that picked up was HWJF. I bawled my eyes out to him while I sat in my car on the top of my parking garage. When I finally got myself together, I went to work 30 min. late. I really wanted to go home, but I can't afford to loose the cash right now.

I spent most of the rest of the day in a complete fog just trying to get my head around what had happened. I have no idea if anyone was hurt or what actually happened and I doubt I ever will. I don't think the story even made the local news. The neighborhood that it happened in was a bad one, and I could see something like that happening... but at 11:45am?! In broad daylight?? And the cops didn't even seem interested? WTF?? I felt like I was in a war zone. All I could think of afterward was the fact that my father spent a good part of his life as a NY State trooper dealing with situations like that, and he LOVED his job. What the hell is wrong with him?! I obviously didn't get the gene for that kind of excitement.

I also had to think about this in the context of everything else that's going on with the world. Look what happened in the gulf. And supposedly there were reports of snipers in the first days after the storm. What the hell is wrong with these people? Everyone is in a bad place and you're going to shoot at some of them?? The freeking government knew the storm was coming and did absolutely nothing to prepare? People showed up to help and were turned away at first? Are you kidding me?

Also weighing heavily on my mind is the anniversary of 9/11 tomorrow. 3000 people died because another group of people doesn't like the way we live our lives. "If you don't think the same as me I'm going to kill you." Where the hell did that kind of logic come from? I feel like the country I know and love is under attack from every direction whether it be mother nature or other human beings that can't seem to understand that everyone should be entitled to live their lives the way they see fit. And the government that is supposed to be protecting those who can't protect themselves doesn't know which was is up or it's ass from a hole in the ground. I wonder if our parents felt this way during Vietnam. Surely this isn't the world that they wanted for us. People killing and dying for no good reason. We're even in the middle of a war where the government has decided that decimating my generation just because they feel like it is a good idea. What the hell is going on here? How did things get to be so terribly wrong? I don't know that I really expect an answer. I'm just so confused by the fact that when I was growing up, my generation was supposed to never see a war, and not only have we seen at least two, we've also been attacked on our own soil and are killing each other in the streets on a daily basis. What the hell happened?




And once again, life goes on no matter what has happened. I had a good interview yesterday. My experience on Thursday really put things into perspective for me (i.e. a job isn't everything) (not that I didn't know that before) but it's nice to have some promising job prospects. While I was in NYC I decided to do a crazy thing. I lived in NY for 22 and I don't think I'd ever been up to the top of the Empire State Building. So $14 later I went. I was a beautiful clear day and you could see for miles (of course I didn't have a camera with me to show you that my latest sock went with me 'cause who takes a camera to a job interview?!). The most disturbing thing? They've altered the little plaques that tell you which buildings are which in the skyline to show the World Trade Center as a dotted line (i.e. Well, this is where is WOULD have been if two planes hadn't taken it down). It also dawned on me that I probably shouldn't have been on the top of the tallest building in NYC this close to the anniversary of 9/11, but I did it anyway.



There is knitting. I finished the front of cable 8:



Since I've decided I deserve to sit on my ass and relax for most of the day today I may try to finish this off today. Hopefully there will be a modeled shot soon.





Don't expect knitting content tomorrow, but there will be some after that. Promise.